12 Holiday Habits That Secretly Trigger Depression—And How to Stop Them

The holiday season is often regarded as the most joyful time of the year. But for many people, it brings more stress than joy. Between packed schedules, family tension, and pressure to be cheerful, the holidays can quietly trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, or even depression. You might wonder why you feel low when everything around you says you should be happy.

It’s not just in your head. According to a psychiatrist and mental health expert, the holidays can overwhelm you with unrealistic expectations, financial pressure, and social demands. Add in cold weather, fewer daylight hours, and memories, and it’s no surprise that many people feel emotionally drained.

The good news is that there are ways to protect your mental health during the season. By understanding which habits increase your stress—and learning how to change them—you can take back some peace and even enjoy the holidays on your terms.

1. Overcommitting to Events

Saying yes to every invitation might seem polite or fun at first. But if you're not careful, your calendar can fill up fast, leaving you overwhelmed and exhausted. Holiday parties, family dinners, school events, and work deadlines can pile up until you feel like you’re running on empty.

You don’t need to attend every gathering or help with every task. It’s okay to say no. Protecting your time helps protect your mental health. If you start to feel anxious or stretched too thin, take a step back and ask yourself—What truly matters this season? Choose what brings peace, not pressure.

2. Trying to Be Perfect

The holidays often come with high expectations. You might feel the need to decorate your home just right, cook the perfect meal, or buy the ideal gifts. Social media and movies make it seem like everyone else is having a flawless holiday, and that can make you feel like you’re falling short.

But chasing perfection can lead to stress, frustration, and sadness. Mistakes and messes are part of real life. What matters most is being present, not being perfect. Let go of the pressure to impress others. Focus on moments of connection instead of making everything look just right.

3. Ignoring Personal Needs

During the holidays, it’s easy to put yourself last. You may spend all your energy taking care of others—shopping, cooking, cleaning, and making sure everyone else is happy. But when you forget to care for your own needs, your mood can suffer.

Skipping sleep, missing meals, or staying too busy can wear you down. Your body and mind need rest, movement, and quiet moments to stay balanced. Even short walks or a few minutes of calm breathing can make a big difference. When you take care of yourself, you’ll have more energy to enjoy the season—and to show up fully for the people you love.

4. Avoiding Grief and Sadness

The holidays can bring up painful memories, especially if you’ve lost someone or can’t be with people you care about. You might feel pressure to smile or pretend everything is fine, even when you’re hurting inside. But holding in your feelings can make them worse.

It’s okay to feel sad. You don’t have to force happiness just because it’s the holiday season. Cry if you need to. Talk to someone you trust. Light a candle or find a quiet way to remember the person you miss. Giving yourself space to grieve can help you heal and remind you that your emotions are valid.

5. Holding on to Old Traditions

Traditions can bring comfort, but they can also cause stress when life changes. Maybe your family no longer gathers the same way, or someone important isn’t there this year. Trying to keep every tradition alive, even when it no longer fits, can make the season feel heavy.

It’s okay to let go of certain rituals. You can keep the ones that still bring joy and gently release the ones that don’t. You can even create new traditions that reflect where you are now. Change doesn’t erase the past—it simply makes room for new memories to grow.

6. Unresolved Family Conflicts

Family gatherings can be filled with love, but also with tension. Old arguments, hurt feelings, or different views can rise to the surface, especially when everyone is under stress. You might feel pressure to pretend everything is fine, or you may dread spending time with certain relatives.

You don’t have to fix everything in one night. The holidays are not the best time for deep conflict resolution. Instead, focus on keeping the peace and setting boundaries if needed. Accept that not everyone will agree or behave perfectly. Choosing calm over conflict can protect your peace and make family time less overwhelming.

7. Overspending on Gifts

Trying to buy the “perfect” gifts for everyone can quickly lead to stress and financial trouble. Holiday sales, pressure from ads, and the fear of disappointing others can push you to spend more than you can afford. When the bills come in later, the regret can turn into sadness or anxiety.

You don’t need to spend a lot to show you care. Set a budget before you shop and stick to it. Consider thoughtful, low-cost options like homemade treats, simple crafts, or shared experiences. Sometimes, a kind note or quality time means more than anything money can buy.

8. Social Isolation

The holidays often focus on togetherness, but not everyone has people to celebrate with. Maybe you're far from family, going through a breakup, or feeling disconnected. Even in a crowded room, loneliness can sneak in and make you feel invisible.

Isolation can quietly feed depression. If you’re feeling alone, try reaching out. Call a friend, join a local event, or volunteer your time. Being around others—even briefly—can lift your spirits. You don’t need a big celebration to feel connected. Sometimes, one kind conversation can remind you that you’re not as alone as you think.

9. Neglecting Healthy Habits

Holiday treats, late nights, and packed schedules can make it easy to forget your usual routines. You might skip meals, eat too much sugar, or drink more alcohol than usual. While these habits might seem harmless in the moment, they can affect your mood, sleep, and energy.

Too much alcohol, for example, is a depressant that can make sadness and anxiety worse. Not getting enough sleep or movement can leave you feeling drained and irritable. Try to stay balanced. Drink water, get rest, and move your body. A few small choices each day can help protect your mental and physical well-being.

10. Lack of Planning

The holidays can feel chaotic when you don’t have a clear plan. Rushing through last-minute shopping, forgetting important tasks, or feeling unprepared for gatherings can lead to panic and stress. This kind of pressure can quietly build up and affect your mood.

A little planning can go a long way. Set aside time for shopping, cooking, and resting. Write down what you need to do and when. Ask others to help instead of trying to handle everything alone. When you stay organized, you give yourself more space to breathe and enjoy the moments that matter most.

11. Unrealistic New Year’s Goals

As the year ends, you might feel pressure to set big goals for the new one. Promises to lose weight, fix your life, or completely change your habits can seem exciting at first, but they can also create guilt and stress if they’re too extreme.

When goals are unrealistic, it’s easy to feel like a failure by February. Instead of aiming for huge changes, focus on small, doable steps. Maybe it’s getting more sleep, moving your body a few times a week, or taking breaks when you feel overwhelmed. A simple, honest goal can build confidence without adding pressure.

12. Avoiding Professional Help

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, the sadness doesn’t go away. If you feel hopeless, anxious, or drained for more than a few days, it’s not something you should ignore. Depression is a real health condition, and it’s not your fault.

Talking to a doctor or mental health professional can help you feel better. They can guide you through what you’re feeling and offer support that friends or family might not be able to give. You don’t have to face everything alone. Getting help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a brave step toward healing.

Conclusion

The holiday season can be joyful, but it can also quietly wear you down if you’re not careful. Many habits that seem normal—like saying yes to everything, chasing perfection, or avoiding your feelings—can slowly lead to sadness and stress. When you understand what triggers your low moods, you can take small steps to protect your mental health.

You don’t have to do everything or please everyone. Choose what brings you peace. Let go of the rest. And if the weight feels too heavy, don’t be afraid to ask for help. This season, your well-being matters most.