He Carried a Panic Bag for 16 Years—Then Did This One Brave Thing That Changed Everything

Imagine carrying a bag everywhere—not with snacks or daily essentials, but with things to calm you down in case of a panic attack. That was Ben’s reality for 16 years. Every trip outside his home meant preparing for the worst. He suffered from panic attacks, agoraphobia, and constant fear of collapsing in public.

Ben wasn’t alone. Panic disorder is a serious condition that often doesn’t go away on its own. According to studies, panic disorder rarely improves without proper treatment. Many people like Ben live with it for years, not knowing if true recovery is even possible.

But one day, Ben made a bold choice that changed his life. What helped him let go of the panic bag—and the fear behind it—wasn’t a quick fix. It took effort, courage, and the right tools. This is the story of how he found lasting relief after years of struggle.

Living in Fear for Years

For a long time, Ben’s life revolved around fear. After his first panic attack in 1978, he became terrified of leaving his home. He avoided cars, public transport, crowds, and even open spaces. The fear wasn’t just about the outside world—it was the fear of panic itself. He was afraid of the fear returning at any moment.

To feel safe, Ben started carrying a “panic bag” everywhere he went. Inside were items he thought he might need if an attack came on suddenly. This bag became his constant companion, a symbol of how deeply panic had taken control of his life. Simple things like going to the store or sitting in a meeting felt impossible. Instead of living freely, he focused on surviving one fearful moment at a time.

Early Roots of Anxiety

Ben’s anxiety didn’t begin with panic attacks—it started much earlier in life. Certain events and patterns from his childhood helped shape the fear he would later carry for years. These experiences created a quiet buildup of stress that eventually became overwhelming.

Key early factors that fed into his anxiety included:

• A strict school environment filled with fear and punishment
• Harsh discipline from teachers, including the use of leather straps
• A constant fear of being singled out or punished, even when he behaved
• Religious teachings that focused on guilt, sin, and fear of hell
• Ongoing anxiety and dread throughout his school years
• Leaving school early to enter a career that didn’t suit his personality
• Continuing to work in a job that added pressure and stress every day

Each of these moments added up over time. They left Ben with deep fears that went unspoken and unmanaged—until they exploded into panic years later.

First Panic Attack and Medical Mystery

In 1978, Ben’s health took a sudden turn. He collapsed in a restaurant, fainted at the blood bank, and later fell again while in the snow. For months, he stayed home, weak and unsure of what was happening to his body. At the time, doctors couldn’t find a clear cause. Years later, he learned it had been Hepatitis B, a condition that wasn’t easy to diagnose back then.

Just as his physical strength began to return, something else took over—panic. His first panic attack hit like a wave of terror. He thought he was losing his mind. From that moment, the fear of having another attack became constant. He started avoiding places and situations that felt risky. He wasn’t just scared of collapsing—he was scared of fear itself.

Initial Treatment Attempts and Missteps

After his first panic attack, Ben reached out for help. His doctor suggested going on a holiday, which only made him feel worse. For someone afraid to leave the house, that advice didn’t make sense. He was prescribed Valium and Tryptanol, but neither worked well. The side effects of the antidepressant made his panic worse, and he was too afraid to take more than tiny doses of the Valium.

A close family member told him to “just face the fear” and push through it. Wanting to get better, Ben followed that advice—but it didn’t work for him. Forcing himself into stressful situations only made things harder. He also tried meditation with a psychiatrist, Dr. Ainslie Meares, which helped him feel calmer, but it wasn’t a full solution on its own. In those early years, Ben was trying different things, but nothing brought lasting peace.

The Turning Point: A New Approach

Everything started to shift when Ben decided to take recovery into his own hands. Instead of depending on one method, he began using several strategies together. He learned that no single treatment could fix everything, but the right mix could make a real difference.

One of the first changes he made was to face his fears through exposure. He slowly put himself in situations that once triggered panic, helping his body and mind learn they were safe. He also found comfort in daily meditation. It helped him stay calm and grounded, even during tough moments. Over time, he added more tools that supported his healing, step by step.

This approach didn’t work overnight, but it gave Ben something he hadn’t felt in years—hope.

Key Recovery Tools

Ben’s recovery came from building a strong set of habits and tools that worked together to support his mental health. These changes touched every part of his daily life and slowly helped him regain control.

Some of the most helpful tools in his recovery included:

• Exposure to feared situations, done gradually and repeatedly
• Daily meditation to calm his mind and reduce stress
• Progressive muscle relaxation to release tension in his body
• Learning how the fight-or-flight response works, so he didn’t fear the symptoms
• Getting physically fit through long-distance running
• Choosing not to rely on alcohol, which only made things worse the next day
• Following a balanced and nourishing diet
• Practicing slow, deep breathing from the diaphragm
• Resting when tired and avoiding pushing past his limits
• Reducing time pressure and avoiding overwhelming deadlines
• Reading self-help books that taught him how to raise his self-esteem
• Trusting his own decisions instead of being guided by fear or others’ opinions

Each step helped him feel stronger and more capable. These tools didn’t just mask his symptoms—they gave him real, lasting change.

Medication That Helped—but Wasn’t the Final Answer

For many years, Ben used Xanax to manage his anxiety. It helped cover the symptoms, but the panic always came back when he stopped taking it. He knew it wasn’t a lasting solution. Then, in 1994, a psychiatrist suggested trying a new antidepressant called Prozac. Ben didn’t feel depressed, but he agreed to give it a chance.

At first, the Prozac made his symptoms worse. Later, he learned that anxiety patients should start with very small doses. But after a few weeks, the medication began to work. Ben noticed a big shift—he could now do things that used to bring panic, but with a new sense of calm.

After three years, Ben slowly stopped taking Prozac. To his surprise, the panic didn’t return. By then, his mind had learned not to respond with fear. The medication had helped him reach a turning point, but it was the lifestyle changes that kept him well.

A Brave Life Change

As Ben grew stronger, he realized something important—his career was making him anxious. He had spent years in the building industry, a job that didn’t fit who he was. The stress, pressure, and constant deadlines had quietly added to his panic over time.

So, he made a bold decision. He shut down his building business and chose a new path that felt right for him. He began studying holistic counselling and life coaching. This work matched his calm nature and desire to help others.

It wasn’t just a job change—it was a life change. By choosing a career that supported his well-being, Ben took a powerful step toward long-term healing.

Long-Term Healing and Empowerment

Years after his last panic attack, Ben no longer needed medication—or the panic bag. He felt confident, calm, and in control of his life. The fears that once ruled him had faded. Now, he could travel, enjoy open spaces, meet new people, and even speak in public without anxiety taking over.

He kept himself well through daily habits that supported both his mind and body. These included regular meditation, exercise, healthy eating, good sleep, and surrounding himself with calm, supportive people. He also learned to say no to things that didn’t feel right, especially work that caused stress.

Ben’s journey wasn’t easy, but it led to a deep sense of freedom. He proved that lasting recovery is possible, and that life after panic can be full, joyful, and peaceful.

Supporting Research

Ben’s recovery story lines up with what research has found about panic disorder. While medications like Xanax or imipramine can help for a short time, most people relapse when they stop taking them. According to research, many patients who stopped medication had their panic symptoms return.

On the other hand, behavioral methods like exposure therapy have shown stronger, longer-lasting effects. In a study by Giovanni Fava and his team, 81 patients with panic disorder and agoraphobia were treated using exposure therapy alone. After up to nine years of follow-up, more than half of them were still panic-free. The study also found better results when patients had no personality disorder and no lingering signs of agoraphobia.

This research shows that real recovery is possible, not just by removing panic attacks, but by helping people fully return to their normal lives.

Final Message of Hope

If you’re facing panic attacks or living in fear like Ben once did, know that you’re not alone—and more importantly, you’re not stuck. Recovery is possible. It may not happen all at once, and it may take time, but each small step counts.

Ben's story proves that healing doesn’t come from one quick fix. It comes from learning, trying, adjusting, and finding what truly works for you. Whether it’s exposure therapy, new habits, or lifestyle changes, the effort pays off. You can live without fear. You can feel safe again. You can carry confidence instead of a panic bag.

Conclusion

Ben’s journey shows that panic disorder doesn’t have to last forever. With the right tools, support, and choices, life can change in powerful ways. He went from carrying a panic bag every day to living freely and helping others. His story reminds us that healing is possible, even after years of fear.

Are you wondering if your life can change, too? It can. Taking one step at a time, like Ben did, can lead you to peace and confidence. You don’t have to live in fear. There is hope, and you can find it.