Your Child Isn’t ‘Too Sensitive’, They Might Be Both a Sensory Seeker and Avoider

Have you ever been told that your child is “too sensitive”? Maybe they cover their ears when a toilet flushes, but later seek out loud music. Or they hate certain clothing textures but love messy play. These mixed reactions might seem confusing, but they’re actually common signs of sensory processing differences.

Some children don’t fit into just one category of sensory behavior. They may act like a “sensory seeker” in one moment and a “sensory avoider" the next. This isn’t a sign of being difficult—it’s a reflection of how their nervous system processes input. According to experts, sensory patterns can vary depending on the environment, activity, and even the child’s mood.

Instead of labeling these kids as overly sensitive or inconsistent, it's important to understand what's really going on. By learning how seeking and avoiding behaviors can exist together, you can better support your child in daily life.

Understanding Sensory Processing

Sensory processing is how the brain takes in and responds to information from the senses—touch, sound, sight, smell, taste, movement, and body awareness. For most children, this happens naturally. But for some, the brain has trouble organizing this input, which can lead to either strong or weak reactions.

When sensory processing works well, children can stay calm, focused, and comfortable in different settings. But when it doesn’t, everyday experiences like brushing teeth, riding in a car, or sitting in a noisy classroom can feel overwhelming or underwhelming. As a result, the child may respond in ways that seem extreme or unpredictable.

Children with sensory differences often show patterns that reflect their brain’s unique sensory threshold. According to research based on Dunn’s model, some kids notice every tiny sound or texture, while others barely react unless the input is intense.

The Two Types: Seeker vs. Avoider

Children with sensory processing differences often show patterns of seeking or avoiding input. These are not bad behaviors—they are ways the brain copes with sensory information.

Sensory Seekers

• Crave strong input like movement, sound, or touch
• May jump, spin, chew, or talk nonstop
• Often labeled as “hyper” or “wild”
• Use these actions to stay alert or focused
• According to experts, this behavior helps balance under-responsive sensory systems

Sensory Avoiders

• React strongly to touch, noise, or smells
• May cover ears, avoid crowded rooms, or resist certain clothing
• Often described as “picky” or “dramatic”
• Try to control their environment to feel safe
• Research shows these children have lower thresholds and need less input to feel overwhelmed

Each pattern reflects how the child’s nervous system interprets input. Recognizing these differences can help you respond with more empathy and better support.

Can a Child Be Both?

Yes, a child can be both a seeker and an avoider—and this is more common than many people think. Sensory needs aren’t fixed. They can change based on the environment, activity, or even the time of day.

A child might seek movement and loud sounds during playtime but avoid bright lights or scratchy clothing at bedtime. These patterns might seem like opposites, but they’re actually signs that the child’s brain is trying to find balance.

According to research, sensory processing varies across different sensory systems. A child may be under-responsive in one area (like body movement) and over-responsive in another (like touch or sound).

Real-Life Examples

You may notice your child showing opposite behaviors on the same day. One moment they’re bouncing off the furniture, the next they’re hiding from the sound of the vacuum. These are not mood swings—they are real responses to how their body feels in different situations.

Here are a few common examples:

• A child who loves messy play with mud or paint may still refuse to wear socks with seams.
• A child who constantly seeks movement—running, jumping, spinning—might cover their ears in a noisy store.
• A child who chews on shirt collars or pencils might gag at the texture of certain foods.
• A child who hugs tightly may panic when someone touches them unexpectedly.

These behaviors make more sense when you consider that each sense is processed separately. According to experts, a child can seek input in one area, like proprioception (movement), while avoiding input in another, like touch or sound.

Supporting Your Child

Helping a child who is both a seeker and an avoider starts with observation and understanding. Watch how they react in different environments and situations. What excites them? What causes distress? These clues can guide the support they need.

Here are simple ways to help:

• Create a daily routine with sensory-friendly breaks
• Offer a mix of calming and alerting activities, like swinging, deep pressure, or quiet time
• Adjust the environment—lower lighting, reduce noise, or give access to sensory tools
• Let your child take the lead when exploring textures, sounds, or movement
• Prepare your child for transitions using visuals, timers, or short warnings

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Each child’s sensory system is unique. As research suggests, a supportive environment helps children regulate better and feel more in control of their bodies.

When to Seek Help

Some sensory behaviors are part of normal development. But when those behaviors start to interfere with daily life, it may be time to seek professional support. You don’t have to wait until things get worse—early guidance can make a big difference.

Watch for signs like:

• Constant meltdowns in busy places
• Trouble with sleeping, eating, or dressing due to sensory discomfort
• Difficulty joining group activities or focusing at school
• Strong reactions to routine sounds, textures, or movement
• Avoiding or seeking input in ways that lead to injury or isolation

If these patterns are affecting your child’s health, learning, or relationships, talk to your pediatrician or a licensed occupational therapist. According to experts, occupational therapy can help identify your child’s unique sensory profile and provide practical tools to support regulation and participation.

Wrap Up

Understanding your child’s sensory needs can help you stop seeing them as “too sensitive” and start seeing the unique way their brain works. Being both a seeker and avoider isn’t a flaw—it’s a clue to how their nervous system tries to find balance. When you notice what helps them feel calm and what triggers discomfort, you can offer the right support.

Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and in control of their world. If you’re ever unsure, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Could the right support make your child’s days a little easier? It’s worth finding out.